Who We Are; Patriarchy Vs Feminism

I wrote this in September last year to try to explain to someone what the difference between Patriarchy and feminism really is with respect to gender constructs. Made it as comprehensive as I could and included the term "toxic femininity" because for some reason, people argue that feminists should be put under that bracket.


In the context of Patriarchy;

1. Masculinity; identified with,
•Assertiveness
•Chivalry
•Desire to take the lead
•Will to sacrifice
•Being the "hunter/chaser"
Etc

2. Toxic masculinity
•Limiting your range of tastes (career, lifestyle, entertainment, sexuality etc)
•Refusal to recognize/acknowledge that you're capable of empathy/sympathy/'love' ('Hard guy' phenomenon)
•Suppression/hiding of emotional trauma/distress
•Conscious efforts to dissociate yourself from support systems when you notice them forming around you (family/friends showing care/protection for you). Refusing help, basically.

3. Femininity
•Humility
•Consideration/Empathy/Agreeabilty/Sympathy
•Nurturing ability
•Associating oneself with support systems and realizing when they lack one
•Being measured and conformative

4. Toxic femininity
•Resigning oneself to being of weaker potential as compared to men (academically, politically, socioeconomically, entrepreneurally)
•Accepting to be the damsel in distress in need of saving (via marriage, 'pampering', approval etc)
•Putting a price on their autonomy/sexuality/rights as a way to not look "cheap" (price could be, marriage, care/support, etc. And any man that can pay with any of these deserves to 'own' them)
•Willfully playing "hard to get" with hopes of raising ones value in the eyes of men


Feminism advocates that traits like
"•Humility
•Assertiveness
•Being more open to a wider range of tastes/options without feeling less of what you are
•Consideration/Empathy/Agreeabilty/Sympathy
•Nurturing ability
•Desire to take the lead
•Will to sacrifice
•Associating oneself with support systems and realizing when they lack one",
are all positive traits that every human being deserves the opportunity to have. Feminism says that society shouldn't be making conscious efforts to categorize certain traits as being exclusive to one sex and raising/assessing people of the sex by that construct.

If you noticed, traits that have been identified as "toxic" only serve to complement/reinforce their respective gender construct. For example, men suppressing their emotions is a justification for why they deserve to always lead. Another example, women needing approval/rescue from men is a justification for why they should be the humble/conforming ones.

Also, whereas "chivalry" may be deemed to be noble, to the extent that it complements many toxic traits, it cannot be deemed as positive by feminists.

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